Two Kinds of Happiness

Want not waste not.

These days I've been trying to live with discipline. Shifting out of lazy habits and greed for sumptuous things. I find that having material things you want doesn't make you happier in the long run. I own way too many things and as time goes by they can only pile up unloved in some corner of your room.

Taking pleasure out of a daily routine rather than feeling claustrophobic, I feel it's a good mindset to go about a busy uni life. I try to notice every little thing that makes me feel happy, eg a conversation that made me laugh, or that little peek of sunshine lighting up the London skyline on a grey day. Looking at life before my eyes through a pinhole makes me concentrate on what I need to do at present. It's a weird phenomenon but I sometimes feel exhilarated when I have to do a lot of work and a 9 hour library session awaits me. I want to wake up early and immerse myself in new knowledge and new activities. The humdrum of the cafe in the early mornings brings alive a latent source of energy that I never knew I had. I'm learning to understand that it's the outcome of studying that makes me happy, and not the pain of the process that makes me weary. Keeping busy will naturally free your mind. You grant yourself freedom, I don't think anyone can give it to you. Not yearning for freedom is the easiest way out.

Sticking to a routine religiously made me realise that the little things I do out of the blue is ever more fun and memorable. I like devoting to my routine but not being a slave to it. It's hard at times but at the end it's always worth it. Time is so precious and we only have one chance at everything, and even though sometimes I think I'm wasting my time doing a lot of things, I know that every single thing I do and learn in the past shapes my mind and actions of today and tomorrow. Everything is relative and at some point in the future, something will give and tie up these loose ends.

Desire and reward
Long term and short term joy.
Don't you give in
You're beginning.